Wednesday, 31 December 2008
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How my big boobs ruined my life.
I supposed I can't blame it all on the breasts, they're here for a purpose; bring on the squishy, jiggly fun. They even keep my hands warm sometimes... but they attracted all the attention I DIDN'T need.
See, I'm Asian, so apparently 34C is a BIG BIG BIG deal (did I stress that enough?) for Asians. I always get stares and every time my purse strap gets caught in my cleavage, I make people walk into things. It's impossible to get guys to see me for who I am, I can never be the "funny girl" or the "smart girl" ...I'm always gonna be the pretty lil' Asian girl with "big" boobs.I remember walking into an Asian bra store. The owner of the store said (and I quote, in translation by verbatum) "they're monstrous!!! Too big! How? What do you eat?" and quickly directed me to the section where pregnant ladies buy ugly bras. All the cute ones with pretty designs are restricted to B cup. My poor boobies were like outcasts, even at a bra store.
For fun, my friends wanted to give our boobs nicknames; person A had "mosquito bites," person B had "hills" and I was obviously Mt. Fuji of boobies
(I'll get to Mt. Everest when I'm pregnant someday). I hate that, I really do.So now that I got that out of the way, let me explain how being cute, sexy and owning big boobs and a nice badunkadunk has screwed me over.
1. GUYS: I've probably had all the guys I've ever liked have crushes on me at one point of my life for all the wrong reasons. If I want someone to see me romantically, he has to at least see ME, not my boobs, not my junk-in-the-trunk, but ME. The boobs make this impossible, even when I wear a turtleneck sweater. I try to hide it, but they're just there in my face, and ultimately, in theirs. It's impossible to talk to them, as their ears are all shut, their eyes are always looking somewhere they're not supposed to, and their pen-15 is up waving hello.
2. GIRLS: All my closest friends were at one point jealous of me, and have done something to harm me for things I could not control. Guys like to hang out with me, chill with me, look at me, hit on me...and completely ignore them. Is it my fault? It's not like I want this kind of attention, but I've been hated on so many times by so many girls just because of my appearance. It's not fair, I'd rather be average just so I can have less haters. I hardly need a fan club made of horny guys. Seriously, if I know my best friend likes a guy, I would NOT date him...just for that, I deserve SOME better treatment right? Girls are EXTRA catty with me, this pretty much explains why I have no close female friends at the moment.
3.RELATIONSHIPS: Once a guy actually gets to knowing me, and sees me for someone that was more than they initially thought (ie - "dude, she's hot, I'll get laid, and ditch"), they leave me to spare their guilt that I'm actually someone more than that. I'm that well-packaged toy at the toy store, sorta like the PS3. Kids will always run up to me, push the "try me" button, play games with me, and attempt to score points with me, but only a select few would actually care to pay to take it home. Expense is commitment. Good guys who are willing to commit flee from me expecting me to be a cheater. Guys who don't want to commit come to me expecting me to get them laid, only to get disappointed, and so they stop talking to me.
I'm just an average being, I like talks, long walks on the beach, videogames, and get random cravings at night. I'm definitely all for marriage and monogamy. I even want to be a doctor someday. Why is it that pretty girls with a nice body always have to fit into some "skanky" stereotype? I can have boobs and brains too, I'm getting the degree to prove it. Sometimes, I wish I could just be an A or B cup, at least I can wear a pushup bra or something if I want fuller looking breasts.
What can I do to get the right attention that I deserve?I'm trying to appreciate my body as much as I can, as I can't seem to fit in ANY Asian stereotypes....but guys are making this so hard for me. What should I do?
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Comments (17)
u are asian....im white, but we can all get along, remember being different physically and spitiurally is what we are...forget about the people who dont like us for us!
u have to be thankful with that i also have a big boobs but i dont get that on my way, some people stares well yeah most if i wear that tight blouses and when i dress up. i love the attention sometimes, sometimes i dont so i keep it low.. my SO knows some guys stares but he is with me, thank God. i think it didnt bother him unless they will not humiliate me or wht.. thats you... you should be thankful you dont have less. im asian too..
guys like that as u have said in # 2 are jerks. they dont know the real you. so why??? why do u even bother what they think.
and your friends., my friends are also like that they got jealous i just smiles and said that runs in the family...
just be friendly and there may be jokes smile. and have fun.
Maybe you need to find more mature friends. That and accept the fact that your boobs are big. Sometimes, in life, you just have to laugh off the bad things to make them good. I'm a short asian male and I always get picked on by taller people. I laugh and say "I can still go Jet Li on your ass."(Meaning I can kick their ass). People who are haters, are immature. Remember that.
BTW, what the hell is the big deal about big boobs? Yeah they look nice but there's nothing extra you can do with them. Sorry guys but grow up.
=[
I'm a 32DD. I know how you feel.
You know what they say, the grass is always greener on the other side. I'm sure if your boobs were smaller, then you'd face all sorts of new issues that annoy you. But I am just a guy, so these are just assumptions.
If you really want smaller breasts, you can reduce them naturally through exercise. Chest workouts and general cardio can reduce the fat around your breasts and reduce them slightly. Although as a heterosexual male, I must advise against such a travesty.
Dude, All guys are like that. But one day there will be a guy that will LOVE you for your personality then your boobs. Stop going to asian bra places, go to victoria secret. AND there are asian bra stores for your size, its not uncommon. I say Asians boobs goes two way, super small (my case) or "big".
You'll find that man
I swung by your blog because I saw this post featured on the datingish main page (I'm not sure they tell you, so I thought I'd point it out). I think what the people there and here is about right. On the one hand, your body (and breasts) are a part of you, and at the same time, they don't define you. Many of us have self-image and/or self-identity issues, and usually they're tied together with our self-worth. Try not to let your past bad experiences identify you, and piece together and focus on the individual parts of YOU that you love. This can be parts of your body, parts of your personality, or things you do. If you learn to identify yourself with those things, people will also see you as those things. You're right, and you can't force people to overlook physical features, but you can just do as you do and understate them and try to overstate the things about yourself that you love. You're playing it right. I'd say you're doing just fine.
On an opposite and more realistic note, don't let yourself be blinded to your other faults because your eyes also just see your C cups. I could ride the flow and say you're a gem and you've just met a bunch of tools and b!tches, but that might be naive, since there's really no way to know. We all have faults, and sometimes it's easier to focus on some than others (particularly those we can't change). I'm not saying there's something else wrong with you, since there's no possible way for me to know that, I'm just pointing out that in the same way you don't want others to be blinded to the other great parts of you because of your breasts, you shouldn't let yourself be blinded to the other not-so-great parts of you because of them either!
to be honest, I wouldn't have bothered mentioning your specific size online. I'm sure you're bound to attract some unwanted attention as well. Seeing as how this is online, people have the ability to self-promote themselves and disguise certain traits to present the image they want. Just be happy the way you are, as long as you're not b*chy, I think you'll find the right guy. Meh. Love and relationship is overrated. RYC: it's funny you said "few guys would pay to bring a PS3 home" ... you get the funny part right?....otherwise good example ;)
if you're attractive at all you'd have the same doubts, you having big boobs or not. Some guys like smaller ones, some like larger, or mediums every guy has a preference, to be honest though we all would like to touch lol. however as you get more emotionally developed through relationships of anysort you'll be able to read people during the initial dating stage for who they are and what they're after. Weed out the bad and keep the good. Guys are conscientous too about various things and maybe a girl of your caliber might leave for someone better later on. Just be careful. live and learn
c's aren't THAT big, you'll get used to this soon enough
@ldjucb3@xanga - I am used to it, I don't like it, that's all. I know C's are not that big, as there will ultimately always be bigger. I suppose I forgot to specify that it's not the size, but it's the relative size that makes people do what they did to me.
@love_hate_whats_new - ha, i guess my point is, it won't be like that forever. the younger boys won't be quite as obsessed with them. I think pretty girls get the same flack from girls just for their face. Regardless, think about the girls that cut themselves open and stick things in their bloody chests just to look like you. You are blessed.
I think it's interesting that, in point 3, that you feel good guys willing to commit flee from you because they perceive that you're a cheater. Why do you say that? Have they actually said that to you? If a guy is leaving a lovely woman like you because you have big boobs and he's insecure about other people trying to lure you away, he's not worth your time! I think finding guys who are a little more self-confident would completely change your relationship dynamic. You seem very bright, beautiful, and self-motivated to me and that would make you someone to build a long-term relationship with--not some other girl just because she has a different body type. Hang in there! You're beautiful inside and out and just need to find people who see that without getting hung up on appearances.
Wear
t-shirts or looser clothing. Wear minimizer bras. Stop showing your
cleavage. Then, you will stop getting the "unwanted" attention.
If
I can hide my 32FF's (when I try), then you can hide your 34C's. Of course, I'm not Asian, so I guess it's more "expected" for me to have boobs. Though, I have had women accuse me of having implants before
That said,
you *can* find a guy who doesn't care about your breast size. I
managed. The best advice I can give is to be outspoken and scare away
the guys who don't really care about getting to know you.
Hiya, there! I see your dilemma.. and I'm glad to see that I'm not alone. If they actually made my bra size, it'd be a 35C, but I can't find any 34 or 36 C's that fit. D: It's kind of weird.
Plus, IRL, Asian girls have told me they thought I was in my 20s because my boobs were big.
Thanks for sharing! I really feel uhh.. not alone.
:)