Monday, 16 March 2009
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The power of I AM and I WILL
I want to be a doctor. To be specific, I want to be an optometrist. No, to be exact, I want to be a missionary optometrist. .... today, I found out, I probably won't be any of the above because I am "too poor" to be a doctor.
I almost tear up, when I remember the day I told my friends and family..."guys, I got accepted to optometry school!" The day I thought to myself, I AM going to make free clinics, I AM going to use the money I make to build houses, give medical equipment etc, I AM going to donate as much as I can, and I AM going to do all these things without a whine or whimper because I AM called to love God's people and I WILL.
I went to 3 banks to ask for a loan for school. I worked hard, very very hard. I lost my social life, any fashion sense, pretty much anything that's somewhat important to most girls... because I needed to work hard in school. I'm not a smart cookie, I don't leave anything to chance, nor do I take anything for granted. So, I laboured day and night in hope that I would get accepted to optometry school. A career not only rewarding, but would allow me to help my family finally go above and beyond poverty so we can help other people who are as poor as we once were.
The good news: I got accepted to optometry school.
The bad news: I went to 3 banks and they all told me my family is too poor to allow me to be a doctor someday. That my parents are not doctors or lawyers like other med school students' parents. That I should work somewhere else instead. That, a projected income of $128,000 a year is not enough. I ask for a personal loan, and they say they can't trust me because I have no assets or credit.The bankers pretty much told me I should just get a random full time job to sustain living and don't attempt the "unthinkable risk" of becoming a humanitarian optometrist.
Ever tried working for years and years for this 1 goal, and you're SO close to accomplishing your goal ... and then you realize, it was all a joke, and all your work was pretty much for nothing?
Yeah, I got that today.
Will I give up? Certainly not. Even if it takes me 15 years to become an optometrist because I have to save up money. I will do it. Getting the education to change lives is that worth it.
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Comments (7)
banks don't tell you anything actually -- they loan you money if they're likely to profit from the exchange and disregard any personal agenda you may have. it looks like you'll need to work for many years and build up credit before you can continue. it's doable though: my friend is 31, was working and making decent change as a nurse, and is currently in her 3rd year at med school. gluck.
scholarships? government loans? peace corps?
Keep looking for other opportunities. be proactive. keep talking. keep fighting.
I'd look for scholarships, too.
Keep trying and never give up!!!!! I admire your determination.
That is a very devastating reality to swallow. It's great that you're not discouraged and continuing to pursue your dream. You sound like you want it badly, so don't ever give up on it. Go for financial aid programs and get loans through your school financial aid office. Sometimes it's easier to get a loan through your school than through a bank on your own. Good luck!
@peanutconqueror@xanga - @figachewy@xanga - @hackem_muche@xanga - @tigerdauphin@xanga - @Brandon_lil_boy@xanga -
Thank you for your comments... I will do my best.
I contacted the financial aid office of the school...they're more of a "financial suggestions office" than anything..... So there goes THAT part...I have friends that work at the bank...they all pretty much said the same thing..and even though my boyfriend wants to be my cosigner...as my fiance (we intend to marry in 5 years)...they said he doesn't count because he hasn't cohabited with me for 2 years. So even if I don't believe in cohabiting because of religious reasons...it doesn't matter. Scholarships are mostly only available to Americans. The ones left to be available are peanuts facing the crazy tuition fees. CanHELP, a program that allows me to take a loan to study in American schools..even IF it has a higher interest rate...terminated the program in April 2008.
So in the end...there is likely nothing I can do but pray and work until I can afford it.
My life is prank gone very wrong... I try not to take it too seriously and just laugh it off...I will fight to the end though...I will fight to the end even when all hope seems gone.